omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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