I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
