Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
