Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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