we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.