Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband