I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You left your phone here
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