Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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