He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
