she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I wish there were birth control emojis
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
