Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
