And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I am available for nakedness
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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