She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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