this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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