I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
