Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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