I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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