Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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