If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
