so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize