I love black thongs
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
