why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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