Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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