"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
