So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize