Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Houston, we have a blender
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
