Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
