His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
