just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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