His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!