We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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