yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in