Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?