I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
