I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize