dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
