yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
