I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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