I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
North Korea, Best Korea!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
