Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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