So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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