Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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