the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
