You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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