Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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