Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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