i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
