Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
