We won't sleep together?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
