two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
