Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
