Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
