yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
