Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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