so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
