well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
