she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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