just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
