I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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