We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize