watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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