just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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