so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
