I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Are we still banned from the library?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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