wrigley field is MILF paradise
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
