the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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