Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
