Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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