dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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