i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
